Author: orrynemrys

I was reading about Galileo yesterday… Like almost any historical figure, posterity tends to paint him in a series of fairly broad strokes.  The specific issue I was reading about was his insistence that Aristotle’s geocentric model of the universe was total bunk.  Galileo built himself a telescope – though, much like Freud and his cocaine, he was not the one to get a patent for it – and located about four of Jupiter’s moons having the temerity to orbit a celestial body other than Earth.  He noticed something very similar about Venus, in fact, but on a slightly larger scale.

On second thought, it really resembled Freud’s amazing medical discovery of cocaine in pretty much no way at all.  But I like throwing that in there.  Freud was a crackpot.

Famously, of course, Galileo elected to recant his brilliant discovery when the Catholic Church threatened to atomize him where he stood.  After about 1700 Hail Mary’s and a pitcher of Jack, he locked the secret opinion that the Earth freakin’ revolved around the Sun into the recesses of his brain and let it party in solitary for a the next 30 or 40 years.  The Catholic Church finally got around to admitting that Galileo was right in 1972.  Apparently, modern science was getting hard to ignore.

I can’t figure out why the hell they have such an easy time ignoring it now.

Excuse that crack… I live in Kansas.

I think it’s worth considering that we all have to face a very similar reorganization at some point in our lives.  Er… well… the insightful we.  You know who you are.  Eventually, some time after high school and before death – if you’re lucky – it suddenly hits you like a drunken squirrel that you’re not the center of the universe.  That you actually move through the system of terrestrial life forms in a manner remarkably similar to everyone else.  Like I said… if you’re lucky.

Saw Riddick this weekend, by the way.  Not too bad, really.  The funny thing is… I think I liked the first 25 minutes of the movie the best.  You know… when he’s bangin’ around the desert communing with the local wildlife.  It was surprisingly charming.  Then, much like in everyday life, the bounty hunters showed up and fucked it all up.

Figures.

I had one of those moments this evening.  The kind that only happen now that I’m a father.  Maybe you know the moments to which I am referring… it’s when you well up over sentimental parent-child stuff.  There’s a few country songs that get me every time, and there are books and movies aplenty.  Tonight was the Hugh Jackman vehicle Real Steel, a fun little movie about an estranged father and son bonding over robot boxing.  The climax of the movie was pretty dope, but if you think that scene was about the robots in the ring dukin’ it out, well… maybe you just don’t have those kind of moments.

Having a young son when you’re pushing 40 is an enlightening experience, to say the least.  Sometimes we really don’t understand each other, but then we can kill half an hour dancing around to me playing the Transformers cartoon theme song on my guitar.  I feel old and young at the same time, I suppose.  But more importantly, I am more aware of my mortality, and somehow still perfectly confident that I can do anything.

I’m freakin’ Superman, yo.

Except, of course, that Supes doesn’t have gout and rarely has to lean on a cane to feel the least bit ambulatory.  It really isn’t about invincibility or anything, anyway.  It’s just, well… I suppose it’s just confidence.  Confidence in myself and my ability to make things happen.  Confident that I will seize the right opportunities as they present themselves.  And confident that I’ll be able to handle whatever challenges life slings my direction with malice aforethought.

“He was like a ghost that night, floating inches above the mat… but I saw him.”

This weekend was a big deal.  It was my community’s final live event of 2013, and I had a final project due in history and a refined inability to walk without excruciating pain, courtesy of my annual struggle with gout.  Despite my infirmity, the GameDay was a success.  We probably had around 40 people show up, and quite a few of them stayed through the day.  We actually had to cancel a game because we were out of tables.  It was my game, so I made peace with it rather quickly.

Now… we wait.  It’s my week between classes, and it should have been relaxing.  But they called for overtime, and I answered.  It’s shitty, but necessary.  But I find myself exhausted, yet unable to sleep… I’m sure you know the feeling.  Kinda like when you order a meal that’s waaaaay too big to finish, but it didn’t look like it when it started.  You want to finish it, because that was the choice you made when you ordered it.  But you may as well beat yourself over the head repeatedly if you think you’re going to enjoy the aftermath once you’ve choked it all down.  Even worse… if it’s something you really love, it seriously taints the experience.

Y’know… I don’t think that works with the sleep metaphor so well.

I have a few days to try and adjust to the overtime schedule… 10 hour days, six days a week…  Then my next class begins, and what little spare time I have left will become a tradable commodity.  And as usual, I have too much to do.

However!  This morning, whilst my wife was napping, I hobbled over to Gabriel’s school and picked him up, then the two of us spent a couple hours together as I ran errands and we stopped and had some lunch.  We both got too much food.  Neither of us ate it all.

Togetherness, at it’s best.

Peace and love, me hearties.

A deceptively simple question, with a simple answer.  And of course, with potential depths so unfathomable as to be rooted in the core considerations that drive every significant question of existence.  Historically, entire civilizations have lived and died in pursuit of a sense of identity.  It may not seem as relevant in an age of cynicism and agency, but it still happens today.  And it starts…

… with Me.

Or some other guy.  Probably the other guy, actually, but the fundamental message is the same.  We judge ourselves and others based on criteria that gives the judgment meaning.  We adhere to ideals and conscriptions of moral codes out of a need for functionality.  Does this devalue our beliefs in any way?  Of course not.  A capacity for judgement – regardless of the application – may very well be the only tool we truly possess to provide an answer to that deceptively simple question.

I am.  I live, and love, and believe.  I define myself through a cavalcade of complex ideas with simple keywords… father, husband, writer, gamer, artist, musician, performer, philosopher…  The list goes on.

By the way… if you don’t like ellipses, this really isn’t the blog for you.  Just sayin’.

I am here to collect my thoughts.  My goal is to reflect on the day as it comes to a close – often in wee hours of the morning – in prose, stream of consciousness, actualization, or whatever seems appropriate.  Typically, I’ll try to keep it short.  If you would like to comment… please do.

After all… we’re in this together.