Month: October 2013

I had one of those moments this evening.  The kind that only happen now that I’m a father.  Maybe you know the moments to which I am referring… it’s when you well up over sentimental parent-child stuff.  There’s a few country songs that get me every time, and there are books and movies aplenty.  Tonight was the Hugh Jackman vehicle Real Steel, a fun little movie about an estranged father and son bonding over robot boxing.  The climax of the movie was pretty dope, but if you think that scene was about the robots in the ring dukin’ it out, well… maybe you just don’t have those kind of moments.

Having a young son when you’re pushing 40 is an enlightening experience, to say the least.  Sometimes we really don’t understand each other, but then we can kill half an hour dancing around to me playing the Transformers cartoon theme song on my guitar.  I feel old and young at the same time, I suppose.  But more importantly, I am more aware of my mortality, and somehow still perfectly confident that I can do anything.

I’m freakin’ Superman, yo.

Except, of course, that Supes doesn’t have gout and rarely has to lean on a cane to feel the least bit ambulatory.  It really isn’t about invincibility or anything, anyway.  It’s just, well… I suppose it’s just confidence.  Confidence in myself and my ability to make things happen.  Confident that I will seize the right opportunities as they present themselves.  And confident that I’ll be able to handle whatever challenges life slings my direction with malice aforethought.

“He was like a ghost that night, floating inches above the mat… but I saw him.”

This weekend was a big deal.  It was my community’s final live event of 2013, and I had a final project due in history and a refined inability to walk without excruciating pain, courtesy of my annual struggle with gout.  Despite my infirmity, the GameDay was a success.  We probably had around 40 people show up, and quite a few of them stayed through the day.  We actually had to cancel a game because we were out of tables.  It was my game, so I made peace with it rather quickly.

Now… we wait.  It’s my week between classes, and it should have been relaxing.  But they called for overtime, and I answered.  It’s shitty, but necessary.  But I find myself exhausted, yet unable to sleep… I’m sure you know the feeling.  Kinda like when you order a meal that’s waaaaay too big to finish, but it didn’t look like it when it started.  You want to finish it, because that was the choice you made when you ordered it.  But you may as well beat yourself over the head repeatedly if you think you’re going to enjoy the aftermath once you’ve choked it all down.  Even worse… if it’s something you really love, it seriously taints the experience.

Y’know… I don’t think that works with the sleep metaphor so well.

I have a few days to try and adjust to the overtime schedule… 10 hour days, six days a week…  Then my next class begins, and what little spare time I have left will become a tradable commodity.  And as usual, I have too much to do.

However!  This morning, whilst my wife was napping, I hobbled over to Gabriel’s school and picked him up, then the two of us spent a couple hours together as I ran errands and we stopped and had some lunch.  We both got too much food.  Neither of us ate it all.

Togetherness, at it’s best.

Peace and love, me hearties.