Category: Uncategorized

This weekend was a big deal.  It was my community’s final live event of 2013, and I had a final project due in history and a refined inability to walk without excruciating pain, courtesy of my annual struggle with gout.  Despite my infirmity, the GameDay was a success.  We probably had around 40 people show up, and quite a few of them stayed through the day.  We actually had to cancel a game because we were out of tables.  It was my game, so I made peace with it rather quickly.

Now… we wait.  It’s my week between classes, and it should have been relaxing.  But they called for overtime, and I answered.  It’s shitty, but necessary.  But I find myself exhausted, yet unable to sleep… I’m sure you know the feeling.  Kinda like when you order a meal that’s waaaaay too big to finish, but it didn’t look like it when it started.  You want to finish it, because that was the choice you made when you ordered it.  But you may as well beat yourself over the head repeatedly if you think you’re going to enjoy the aftermath once you’ve choked it all down.  Even worse… if it’s something you really love, it seriously taints the experience.

Y’know… I don’t think that works with the sleep metaphor so well.

I have a few days to try and adjust to the overtime schedule… 10 hour days, six days a week…  Then my next class begins, and what little spare time I have left will become a tradable commodity.  And as usual, I have too much to do.

However!  This morning, whilst my wife was napping, I hobbled over to Gabriel’s school and picked him up, then the two of us spent a couple hours together as I ran errands and we stopped and had some lunch.  We both got too much food.  Neither of us ate it all.

Togetherness, at it’s best.

Peace and love, me hearties.

A deceptively simple question, with a simple answer.  And of course, with potential depths so unfathomable as to be rooted in the core considerations that drive every significant question of existence.  Historically, entire civilizations have lived and died in pursuit of a sense of identity.  It may not seem as relevant in an age of cynicism and agency, but it still happens today.  And it starts…

… with Me.

Or some other guy.  Probably the other guy, actually, but the fundamental message is the same.  We judge ourselves and others based on criteria that gives the judgment meaning.  We adhere to ideals and conscriptions of moral codes out of a need for functionality.  Does this devalue our beliefs in any way?  Of course not.  A capacity for judgement – regardless of the application – may very well be the only tool we truly possess to provide an answer to that deceptively simple question.

I am.  I live, and love, and believe.  I define myself through a cavalcade of complex ideas with simple keywords… father, husband, writer, gamer, artist, musician, performer, philosopher…  The list goes on.

By the way… if you don’t like ellipses, this really isn’t the blog for you.  Just sayin’.

I am here to collect my thoughts.  My goal is to reflect on the day as it comes to a close – often in wee hours of the morning – in prose, stream of consciousness, actualization, or whatever seems appropriate.  Typically, I’ll try to keep it short.  If you would like to comment… please do.

After all… we’re in this together.