I’ve been thinking about this moment for a while. Ever since we learned that my friend Julie was declining and would be leaving us sooner rather than later.
Julie and I had a strained relationship when we were younger, and it was often hard to juxtapose that with the supportive role I wanted to play in my friend Jason’s life. The two of them had been destined to be together, pulled back into each other’s orbit time and again no matter how real life and other relationships kept beating down the proverbial door. And I know that I was one of those roadblocks on more than one occasion.
That being said, Jason is my brother and I would do anything within my power to see him happy. When he and his erstwhile family fell on hard times, my wife and I took them in. Three times, over the years. And my wife never batted an eyebrow nor hesitated even a heartbeat to commit to that support. And over time, as sometimes happens, she and Julie got close. And eventually, after she’d started facing the prospect of her limited mortality, Julie made an effort to repair her relationship with me. It was a friendship hard-won, but all the better for it.
Julie passed away yesterday, surrounded by her loved ones. She had battled the disease that took her life for more than a decade, hanging on with every fiber of her being, and in the end I was a little surprised that she slipped away so quietly. I don’t know why; I didn’t expect her leap from the hospital bed and spit into the face of the inevitable or anything, but I also would have been only marginally surprised if she had tried.
The last few months have been challenging for our family, and we have a lot to take care of in the aftermath. But despite a certain quiet that seems to embrace the whole affair, I didn’t want her passing to go unremarked. At her core, she was a vibrant and intelligent woman, sometimes passionate, sometimes cold. Always complex. She made an inspiring effort to face her mortality with grace and good humour, and at times was even successful. I’ll choose to remember her that way, and ultimately be grateful she was in our lives.
(Oh! And then there was that time I got to marry them!)
